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Astros Kitchen

Burger Star Burger Star

The Burger:

Cheese Burger w/Bacon

Overall Rating:

52/100

Cost Range:

$0.00-$10.00

Rated On:

Mar 1, 2013

It's All In The Details

Burger Basics

How were the basics you ask? In a word, basic. You've got your run of the mill sesame bun, squeezably fresh and not terrible to bite into holding in a pre-frozen patty that most definitely came from a box. The patty was grilled to within an inch of its life, cooking out any juiciness that may have once been there.

The Extras

There were a number of things at play when it came to the extras involved in this meal. To start, the produce on the burger was fresh and flavorful, so it had that going for it. The bacon was nothing to fawn over, but it was bacon and bacon is always a good thing. The toppings were your basic toppings, and actually, there was even green relish. I can’t honestly recall the last time I had green relish on anything but a loaded ballpark frank. The fries were listless and screaming for ketchup.

The Experience

Well, Astros is located in a very industrial area. You’re typical blue-collar lunch spot.

My Take

I face a bit of a dilemma when writing a review like this. On one hand, what does one honestly expect to find when detouring off the beaten path to find a burger in a hole-in-the-wall diner. On the other hand, how do you find a diamond in the rough without wading through the rough. I did do a little back checking before heading out there as this joint is next door to another failed burg attempt, and found a description online that claimed they were "Known as a classic 'burger joint' and diner". The burger left a LOT to be desired from top to bottom, not the least of which being processed cheese. On a list of ways to ruin a burger, processed cheese comes in right after "serving it raw". Your mediocre to bland burgers could be much improved by simply melting a quality product on their beef. The only upside was that it only cost $10.00. I won’t go into too many more details, because it can be simplified with just saying it wasn't that good.

Rating Breakdown

  • Quality of Bun
  • Quality of Patty
  • Quality of Toppings
  • Selection of Toppings
  • Preparation
  • Aesthetics
  • Manageability
  • Drip Factor
  • Uniqueness
  • Overall Flavour
  • Value

Score

  • 6/10
  • 6/15
  • 8/10
  • 2/5
  • 4/10
  • 3/5
  • 9/10
  • 1/5
  • 2/5
  • 9/20
  • 2/5
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Burger Rating Scale: Explained

To start, just a note explaining the weighted rating of the burg. We understand that it might be a little confusing, but the thought is that certain points of a burger just have more of an effect on how good a burger really is. For example, we feel the quality of the patty has a bigger impact on the burger than the cost or how well it holds together.

  • Quality of Bun: How was the bun? Fresh? Chewy? We always hope for the freshest possible bun, something that we can grip on to and that will act as a proper container for the burger itself
  • Quality of Patty: Ah, the essence of the burg. How good is the patty though? I mean, are we dealing with the ideal 80/20 chuck? Or, do we have a patty riddled with filler and other foreign and unwanted product?
  • Quality of Toppings: How fresh is the produce on the burg? How fresh are the sauces? How well prepared are the other wild and wonderful things that adorn our burg?
  • Selection of Toppings: Is this a joint that tells you what to get? Or is the the sky the limit? There's something to be said for a place that will let you pile some onion rings, a fried egg and a half a Bavarian on your burg.
  • Preparation: How well are the 'essentials' prepared? Did you have the makings for a good patty, but Joe Chef burnt it beyond recognition? Was the patty great, but that heap of bacon you wanted was uncooked? Overall, how was the burger put together?
  • Aesthetics: Nothing says delicious like a burger that is giving you those "come hither" looks with how delicious IT looks.
  • Manageability: How far did you make it before the burger fell apart? I know a good burger is supposed to be juicy and leave your hands a mess, but I don't feel that I should be eating the majority of it with a fork.
  • Drip Factor: Just how far down your arm did that succulent stream of burger juices make it? We all know that noone leaves a proper burger battle without getting a little messy
  • Uniqueness: Can you get this burg at McDonalds? Did they take some time to actually make something different here? You can have burgers that are just plain amazing, and you can have burgers that are amazing and make you think "Where did they come up with this?"
  • Overall Flavor: Did your taste-buds do a jig? Does your mouth water at the mere mention of this burger joint? Flavor is where it’s at baby!
  • Value: How much "bang for your buck" factor was involved? Obviously you pay for greatness, but sometimes it is unjust, and sometimes it is just a treat.
"People's Choice" Rating: (0 votes - 0.00)


Your Vote:



Available with your choice of:

Patties

  • Beef

Buns

  • Sesame

Sauces

  • Ketchup
  • Mustard
  • Mayo
  • Relish

Cheeses

  • Processed

Toppings

  • Onion
  • Lettuce
  • Tomato
  • Pickles

Sides

  • Fries
  • Soup

Drinks

  • Pop